The Limerick Challenge - You Can Write Your Own Limerick Here!

According to wikipedia A limerick is a five-line poem in anapestic or amphibrachic meter with a strict rhyme scheme (aabba), which intends to be witty or humorous and sometimes a bit risque.  The standard form of a limerick is a stanza of five lines, with the first, second and fifth usually rhyming with one another and having three feet of three syllables each; and the shorter third and fourth lines also rhyming with each other, but having only two feet of three syllables. The defining "foot" of a limerick's meter is usually the anapaest, (ta-ta-TUM), but limericks can also be considered amphibrachic (ta-TUM-ta).
The first line traditionally introduces a person and a place, with the place appearing at the end of the first line and establishing the rhyme scheme for the second and fifth lines.

You too can write a limerick!  I challenge anyone to write your own limerick in the COMMENT Section below, just for fun.  Just Click on the Comment section and submit your own completed limerick.  Remember, 1st, second and 5th lines rhyme, and the third & fourth rhyme with each other.  Don't forget to sign it as your own!  Let's see how many variations we can get.  Please refrain from submission f you have a tendency to be quite nasty .....

See My Own Limerick Below as an Example:

The Liar's Limerick

"Poem: The Liar's Limerick"

There Once was a Man Deemed a Liar.
The Words from His Mouth Would Draw Fire.
He'd Tell You a Story,
Some Outrageous, Some Gory,
(All Embellished with Glory)
But Mostly of Muck and of Mire.
Cheryl E Gordon
5/20/10

(Yes, I know this is 6 lines; not the Traditional Limerick, But I like it this Way)

Jonathan Swift: Helter Skelter or "The Hue and Cry After the Attorneys..."

"Helter Skelter" or
"The Hue and Cry After the Attorneys
Going to Ride the Circuit"

Now the active young attorneys

Briskly travel on their journeys,

Looking big as any giants,

On the horses of their clients;

Like so many little Marses

With their tilters at their arses,

Brazen-hilted, lately burnish'd,

And with harness-buckles furnish'd,

And with whips and spurs so neat,

And with jockey-coats complete,

And with boots so very greasy,

And with saddles eke so easy,

And with bridles fine and gay,

Bridles borrow'd for a day,

Bridles destined far to roam,

Ah! never, never to come home.

And with hats so very big, sir,

And with powder'd caps and wigs, sir,

And with ruffles to be shown,

Cambric ruffles not their own;

And with Holland shirts so white,

Shirts becoming to the sight,

Shirts bewrought with different letters,

As belonging to their betters.

With their pretty tinsel'd boxes,

Gotten from their dainty doxies,

And with rings so very trim,

Lately taken out of lim--[1]

And with very little pence,

 And as very little sense;

With some law, but little justice,

Having stolen from my hostess,

From the barber and the cutler,

Like the soldier from the sutler;

From the vintner and the tailor,

Like the felon from the jailor;

Into this and t'other county,

Living on the public bounty;

Thorough town and thorough village,

All to plunder, all to pillage:

Thorough mountains, thorough valleys,

Thorough stinking lanes and alleys,

Some to--kiss with farmers' spouses,

And make merry in their houses;

Some to tumble country wenches

On their rushy beds and benches;

And if they begin a fray,

Draw their swords, and----run away;

All to murder equity,

And to take a double fee;

Till the people are all quiet,

And forget to broil and riot,

Low in pocket,

cow'd in courage,

Safely glad to sup their porridge --then,

Hey, for London town again.

[Footnote 1: Limbo, any place of misery and restraint.

"For he no sooner was at large, But Trulla straight brought on the charge,

And in the selfsame Limbo put The knight and squire where he was shut."

--Hudibras, Part i, canto iii, 1,000.

Here abbreviated by Swift as a cant term for a pawn shop.--W. E. B

 http://www.readprint.com

Message From Heaven to Earth

Thunder Drum Rolls
Lightening Flash Dances
Heavenly Cosmic Orchestration
For Our Earthly Viewing Pleasure...

Or, Perhaps A Cryptic Message
Shouting Out to the World
You Need Energy?
Harness Me.

Cheryl E Gordon
4/5/10

Zen Koan, "Time to Die"

Zen Koan, "Time to Die"... "koans, or parables, were translated into English from a book called the Shaseki-shu (Collection of Stone and Sand), written late in the thirteenth century by the Japanese Zen teacher Muju (the "non-dweller"), and from anecdotes of Zen monks taken from various books published in Japan around the turn of the 20th century."
(from the website, Zen Koans -AshidaKim.com under the Zen Koans Index as # 85); It is one of my favorites:


85.   Time to Die

Ikkyu, the Zen master, was very clever even as a boy. His teacher had a precious teacup, a rare antique. Ikkyu happened to break this cup and was greatly perplexed. Hearing the footsteps of his teacher, he held the pieces of the cup behind him. When the master appeared, Ikkyu asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the older man. "Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
Ikkyu, producing the shattered cup, added: "It was time for your cup to die."

Chastity Belt

The Chastity Belt is the Medieval Times Rubik Cube.

© Cheryl E Gordon
3/23/10

"Doo Wah Diddy Diddy"

It is Appropriate I think, to post the Song here: "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" - as anything with Doowah is Open Game, and of course, for Old Times Sake.

Description of "Do Wah Diddy Diddy"  from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
http://ow.ly/1o3aA

And, For Your Listening Pleasure, Click on the Lyrics Scroller Video for the SONG & Words:
Manfred Mann Lyrics and Video

From The Minds of Sixth Graders

Are We Worried About Our School System – Of Course not! 

Insight into the minds of 6th graders:  The following were answers provided by 6th graders during history tests.  Watch the spelling!  Some of the best humor is in the misspelling. 

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.  They lived in the Sarah Dessert.  The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.  

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.  Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments.  He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history.   The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice.  They killed him.  Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.  After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul.  The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king.  Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

7. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. 

8. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen."  As a queen she was a success.  When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." 

9. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries.  Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible.  Another important invention was the circulation of blood.  Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. 

10. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper. 

11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare.  He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday.  He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays.  He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.  Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple.  Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes.  He wrote Donkey Hote.  The next great author was John Milton.  Milton wrote paradise Lost.  Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress.  Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence.  Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand."  Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.   

14. Abraham Lincoln became America’s greatest Precedent.  Lincoln’s mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands.  Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.  On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show.  They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor.  This ruined Booth’s career.

15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children.  In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.  Bach died from 1750 to the present.  Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.  Handel was half German, half Italian, and half  English.  He was very large. 

16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music.  He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him.  Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. 

17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions.  People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine.  The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.  Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.  Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits.   Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species.  Madman Curie discovered the radio.  Karl Marx became one the Marx Brothers.      

Earth Child/Celestial Woman

Twiddle Dum & Twiddle Dee
They Have Nothing on Me

One Foot on the Ground
And One in the Sky
I Can Move Quickly
In the Twinkling of an Eye

Backwards is Hard
But I Can Do It
Sideways is Easy
For As A Crab
I Will Get Through It

The Dolphin in Me
Finds the Water Appealing
Joyfully Playing
Sends My Spirit Reeling

Like a Mother to Earth
I Cradle Her in Love
She is My Grounding
As I am Lifted Above

The World is Turning
It Boggles My Mind
How So Many Are Lonely
Where There are So Many to Be Found

Alice in Your Looking Glass
Can You Mindfully See
How the World Is Turning
Inside of Me?

Cheryl E Gordon
1/28/10

Overcoming and Becoming

The Greatest Obstacle to Overcome is Ourselves.
We are All in the Process of Becoming and Are in Charge of Exactly, "What".

Cheryl E Gordon
1/28/10

My Favorite Recipe for Love ~ Doowah Entry

My Favorite Recipe for Love

(Makes the Perfect Gift)

You Will Need:
Two Willing Hearts
1 tsp of Natural Sugar
1 Dash of Spice
Healthy Dose of "Essence of Free Spirit"

Stir & Blend Well Until Smooth in Consistency.
Pour into Open Vessel & Serve

Cheryl E Gordon
12/26/09

Excerpt from the Keynote Address of the "Counter Copenhagen" Mount Everest Summit of Mega World Business Corps

POLITICAL SATIRE
(The Keynote Speaker's identification has been withheld to protect the innocent 
and for purpose of confidentiality)

Dearly Beloved, Our Fellow Citizens of the World.  We are gathered today to speak as Experts of that which we know very little about;  planet earth.  Some have accused us of wrong doing.  They (far left wing conspiracy group) say we have contributed to global warming in our business activities.  They say we have largely contributed to contamination and devastation of the wilderness, deforestation, and rape of virgin territories.

To this we say, Hogwash!  There are no virgin territories. And as for the land; just  how can we destroy that which is non-living?  I mean to say, is this planet earth not mainly comprised of rocks, dirt, water & other similar stuff?  People, It is NOT ALIVE!  We are just going about our daily business of doing what we do best, and taking that which is rightfully ours.  Isn't making a profit from others what all businesses do?  We can't help it if we are bigger, better and require more energy to stay on the top.  The little people and the scientists are just spreading HOGWASH!

Now this being said, don't get us wrong.  It is not that we don't care.  We have children too, much like yours, except they are better looking and have everything they need financially, such as good schools, sex and education.... But otherwise they are exactly like your kids... We want what is best for them too.

Believe Us.  There is NO GLOBAL WARMING.  Is there not still snow in Alaska?  Some ice may be melting, but that is what ice does, and it will freeze again.  These people are JEALOUS and IGNORANT.  These so-called scientists are DREAMERS; dreaming up artificial "cry wolf" notions to the public from their trumped up computers. But we, the Corporate Arms of the World, have to work hard to get where we are.  If we need to use up most of the earth's resources to stay in business, well, it is a risk we are willing to take.  We must all make sacrifices.

If we need certain land to do our work, well then some of the wild things just have to go. It is not like the wild animals are our pets, you know.  They are in the way of PROGRESS.  It's sad, but that is just the way it is.

People are talking about everything up and dying. Well if this true, there would be more dead carcasses lying around.  Just look around you.  Do you see anything dying more than usual?  NO!  Its just a RUSE to get your juices running... to get you all riled up to go against the flow!  the scientists lie and they cheat.  They  "tweek" figures in their earth climate calculations, but we know what we are doing!  They may need to manipulate figures to get them to turn out right just for the record, but we have the proper tools in place to make things do what we need them to do.  If we say we are doing our best to be environmentally conscious, it is the so-called TRUTH.  They are the LIARS!

We are not Heartless Mega Corporations as they would like you to believe.  We give to Charities.   Hell, all the time, so it is not like we are shirking our Civic and Worldly Responsibilities.  You People should be thankful!  If it wasn't for us, people would not be where they are today! So we just need to forget all this frivolous worry and get back to our important business of doing that which we do best.  For us it is making a fistful of Money.  I'm not sure what you are doing, but just keep on doing it.  It has been working just right for all of us.

Enough said,  Gotta get back to making money to keep the world running.  The "Green People", and Scientists are just TRYING TO SCARE YOU to put us out of business.  Don't believe them!  If we were out of business, then just where would You People be?....

WHOA.... Wait a minute! What the Hell was that?  A SHE YETI?.... Which way did she go...  Where's My Rifle....

Are we still on the Air ... (Someone Turn that thing Off)....

(Contributed by Cheryl E Gordon, aka Muffyjo)

12/11/09